The Top 10 WORST Bands/Musicians of the Last 12 Years

 Well friends, 2012 has almost reached its end. We’ve seen some amazing feats, some tragedies, and some overall awesome things. As 2013 approaches, I’ve been giving a lot of thought about how the music scene has changed so drastically over the last twelve years.

 As previously posted, I submitted that 2002-2004 was the last run of really solid music all across the board. But look at just how much things have changed since then! A good majority of popular music isn’t even played on real instruments any more, and that is a travesty. 

 So, instead of letting all this pent-up rage and aggression I have against the modern music industry fester inside of me, I decided to sit down and compile a list. Now, narrowing this down to just 10 was a very, VERY difficult task for me. However, for lack of time and space, I’ll do my best. 

 Here we go!

#10: NICKELBACK

  Although they technically got started in ’95 and were signed in ’99, they didn’t really achieve “success” until the year 2000 with their album The State. And that’s the only positive thing I have to say about them. From their repetitively generic lyrics, to their unimpressive musicianship, Nickelback is an all-round terrible band. I mean, just LOOK at them.


Is the guy on the right trying to bite his lip? I can’t tell. I’m too distracted by Chad Kroeger’s souless eyes staring at me.

 All-in-all, Nickelback is the true definition and embodiment of “Bro-Rock,” and, like Bros, should be avoided.

#9 Lil’ Wayne

 When it comes to hip-hop, the whole industry has gone stupid. Everything is auto-tuned, over produced, and over the top. And Lil’ Wayne (a.k.a Weezy, a.k.a Some dude I really don’t care about) is not helping. Granted, he DOES at least know how to play guitar, so I will give him that. However, his mind-numbing “flow,” his nasal voice, and his “I’m clearly smoking absurd amounts of weed” lyrics smash this one positive trait into oblivion. It saddens me that this:

 
 Does his belt-buckle seriously say “RAPE?” Really?

 is the role-model for aspiring rappers, when we still have amazingly talented guys like Mos Def and MURS still around! *sigh* Moving on.

#8 Ashlee Simpson

Challenge: Name me FIVE Ashlee Simpson songs, without using the internet. Aaaaaand GO!

Can’t do it, huh? Thought so. Ashlee, while being a good looking girl, who attempted super-stardom back in 2001. Following in the footsteps of big sister Jessica Simpson, Ashlee attempted pop, the some weird abomination of pop-punk, then back to pop. Poor thing failed at all three. We all know the reasons she’s stayed in the spotlight are not due to her music. 


Remember the SNL disaster? She lip synced, the WRONG song mind you, proceeded to do an odd little jig, then tried to pass the blame of on her band and a sore throat.

Aside from  marrying Pete Wentz, bass player of Fallout Boy, and naming their spawn Bronx, Ashlee Simpson has failed to do anything significant in the music scene for quite some time now.

#7 Theory of a Dead Man

 Seriously, why is Bro-Rock a thing? Honestly? I thought Nickelback’s lyrics were generic, but MAN these guys take the figurative cake! Aside from Theory’s OVER sexed…everything, I can hardly tell the two bands apart.


Don’t let their look fool you, the reek of Monster energy drink and Affliction T-shirts!

#6 Iwrestledabearonce

  Hipster-metal. Yeah, it exists. It’s headed by iwrestledabearonce. And it’s just as awful as it sounds. It saddens me that such a pretty girl is in such a crappy band. But thems the breaks, right? “Nick, what’s wrong with them?” You ask? Go look up a video of theirs. Anyone will do. After your ears stop bleeding, you’ll notice the strain to mix Hipster culture (ugly laplanders, PBR, ironic beards, etc.) with the Hardcore scene (growling lyrics, freakish ear gauges, break-downs, and an over abundance of neck tattoos). Your brain wont accept what you’re attempting to do to it, and it may just shut down.

 
Look out behind you, the Hipsters are coming!

 Hipster-Metal. Not even once.

#5 Soulja Boy

Remember earlier when I said that the modern Hip-Hop industry is over-produced, auto-tuned, and everything? THIS guy is the very embodiment.


This guy. This f—ing guy right here.

#4 Brokencyde 

Thought Bro-Rock was bad? Thought Hipster-Metal was an abomination against mankind? You were wrong. I found something far worse. Something so dark and sinister, it is a plague. Brokencyde. They’re the bastard child of the two…”genres”. Satan himself would be disgusted with these…things.


Why? WHY?!

Between the constant yelling, the over use of Pro-Tools , and the Shutter Shades, I’m seriously debating rage-quitting life. Or going on a rampage. Or both.

#3 Nicki Minaj

One day, when we’re all old and feeble, our grand kids will visit us and ask us about what music was like when we were kids. Can we all agree that we wont mention this:


Stupid hoe. Stupid Hoe. Stupid stupid stupid hoe. 

Why is/was she an American Idol judge?  Honestly, I hated that show from the beginning, but they at least had TALENTED judges.

#2 Blood on the Dance Floor

Further proof that Pop is the enemy of Metal, and that the two should never, EVER cross. Blood on the Dance Floor tries to mix whiny boy band essence, hard rock/metal guitar, and dance music. The end result made my soul hurt.


Don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs while pregnant. Your kids might end up like this. You don’t want that. 

 I have yet to meet anyone who likes this…band. And yet, they’re popular.

And finally:

#1 Justin Bieber

He can’t sing. He can’t dance. He can’t really play any instruments. He doesn’t write his own songs. I don’t get it. I’ve tried to, but I keep coming back empty handed. He/she/it is why we really, REALLY shouldn’t let pre-pubecent girls dictate what music should be popular.


“He” looks like a 13 year old girl.

The reason Biebs annoys me so much, is that his talentless self has gained so much popularity and recognition, while truly talented bands/artists face an uphill battle just to make it by.

I realize that this whole post may seem like one huge rant, and maybe it is, but that doesn’t mean it’s not open for discussion. Do you agree or disagree? Who would be in your top ten? Let me know, I want to hear from you.

2002-2004 Music Revisit

 Last night, while browsing the Internet for music to listen to, I realized that I kept going back to songs from my 
high school years. Particularly songs/bands that came out between 2002 and 2004, which made me realize that 
that was actually a pretty good era for music. Rock was still a big player in the mainstream music outlets, the 
majority  of pop songs weren't crazy auto-tuned, and we weren't yet afflicted with  Bieber, Black, Jonas, Ke$ha, or
Blood on the Dance Floor. 

Plus, those three years saw a lot of bands make their come-backs. Most notable and successful of the bunch 
being Green Day with the politically satirical punk anthem  "American Idiot" and AFI with their dark genius "Sing 
the Sorrow." So, in a lot of ways, '02 - '04 might have been the last solid few years for really good music all 
across the board.

Now, that's not to say that all music today is terrible. On the contrary, the Indie and "Underground" hip-hop scenes
are churning out some really good material. Murs, Arcade Fire, Interpol, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, and Florence + the 
Machine are all  still going strong and putting out some great albums. In fact, some bands are releasing new 
material for the first time in the better part of a decade (most notable would be The Cult, Garbage, KISS, Smashing 
Pumpkins, and Lit).

In the end though, some of my favorite tracks will be from that era, when Fuse was still worth watching. Call it 
nostalgia if you want, and maybe it is, but that doesn't change the fact that when those songs come on, people 
around my age still know all the words and find themselves singing along. So while not of them were  great, after all
those are also the Emo years, I feel the majority of these songs earned their airtime. 

Feel like a figurative walk down memory lane? Here's a fun little playlist from this era that, I feel, are all worth a 
revisit. 
 
In no particular order:

"Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard
"American Idiot" by Green Day
"Bandages" by Hot Hot Heat
"Do You Realize??" by The Flaming Lips
"Anthem" by Good Charlotte
"Last Train" by Lostprophets
"The Reason" by Hoobastank
"Now is the Time" by Slick Shoes
"Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones
"Anthem of Our Dying Day" by Story of the Year
"Wasting My Time" Default
"Foolish" Ashanti
"The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World
"Lose Yourself" by Eminem
"Just Like a Pill" by P!nk
"Unwell" by Matchbox Twenty
"Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence feat. Paul McCoy
"Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera
"Calling All Angels" by Train
"Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes
"Clocks" by Coldplay
"I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness
"Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet
"Hey Ya!" by Outkast
"No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age
"The Leaving Song pt. 2" by AFI



Garbage

 It has been seven long years since we were given a Garbage album, this was due largely to dealings with their record label and management. However, May marked the end of the seven-year wait, and it was definitely worth it! The new album sounds fantastic, and Shirley Manson’s voice still sounds as great as it did in the 90’s, and the production and mix quality is superb. Of course, when you have a production icon like Butch Vig (producer of some great albums from Nirvana, Foo Fighters, etc.) in your band, you can bet your album will sound amazing.

 The band’s latest effort, the self-released “Not Your Kind of People,” is an inspiring album for reasons more than musical. Vig said they self-released the album because they didn’t want record company interference, and I applaud them for that! I hate when record companies try to meddle with an artist’s effort. Let the band do what they feel they need to do. It is not an uncommon thing really, ranging from artist like Jeff Buckley and Alanis Morrissette, record company haggling has seen the end to many contracts and even band break-ups.

 In conclusion, “Not Your Kind of People” is a fantastic pick for long-time fans, people who are interested in Garbage, or even if you just want a good album to pick up. 

OFF!

 I unabashedly love OFF! They’ve channeled the sound of the 80’s LA Punk/hardcore scene, and this gave punks everyone reassurance that true Punk Rock is indeed still alive and well.

 All this is, of course, due to punk rock icon and front man Keith Morris (Black Flag/Circle Jerks). Morris formed OFF! as a sort of punk “super group” with Red Kross bassist Steven Shane McDonald, Rocket From the Crypt/Hot Snakes drummer Mario Rubalcaba, and Burning Bridges front man Dimitri Coats.

 OFF!’s first release was actually a compilation of four EP’s released on vinyl, suitably called First Four EP’s back in 2010, and I was immediately hooked upon my first listen. With their newest release “OFF!,” they’re still boasting the quick and intense, in-your-face sound of true punk rock. Most of the sixteen tracks clock in at 45 seconds, with explosive sounds that knocks you off your feet.

 All in all, I highly recommend this album for any fan of real punk rock music, as well as those who are interested in the genre.